I hate flight food..

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It’s driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I’m beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

and…

A great journey commences.

In Rewind mode

I will pelt stones at my mirrored self sitting at the corners of naked lakes singeing the ebb and the flow with my scorching veracity. I will disturb the balance. That’s my stimulus. Life is my muse.Then I ‘ll go find someone and make em happy. I’ll borrow from all things around and I ‘ll double it up and give it back. I don’t seek God. I don’t seek eternity. I want (you) to live in this moment, I want to make this moment of bliss, my whole life. I do not live, just, I drink life like my thirst has been unquenced for eons. I will never reduce my astounding appetite for life and its beauty. I will listen to my own silence as much as I will to the conversations I have with those around me. I’ll have fun. I’ll have a lot of fun. I promised myself that I always would have fun. I owe it all those who’ve met and loved me and still do so, and for them I will not let those who brought pangs of sadness into my life to be the cornerstones of my existence. If this thing called Love is elusive, then, I still am a relentless schoolgirl(boy), I will follow it around with my butterfly net. I won’t let my days be a dull shade of sepia, I will paint them violet and crimson. I will never leave the table even when am dealt Fate’s harshest hand. I will never look at an ocean with melancholic eyes, no, I will ride the waves like I am meant to be. I will not complicate whats simple or simplify whats complicated. I will be (with You) till time runs out and space ceases to be. I will learn to love harder everytime I am broken and burnt by those who chose not to. I will share my stories with strangers and make theirs’ mine. I will open myself to experience and faith. I will rise, twice stronger, from the ashes of every failure I encounter. I will never be reckless with Hope – mine or in others. Chances are that there will always be someone stronger and better than me out there, I will still run the race coz god knows that what the body can’t win, the soul can. I will believe not think. I will go out there, day after another long day, to make a child sing. I will climb the highest mountains and jump into the abyss just to see what happens. I will always be unsatiable. I will respect the divinity that lies within me. I will never forget – Aham Sa(I am that). And when am doing all of these, I wont for a moment forget who I am. Love and Hate are now purely reflective surfaces for me to bounce myself off of. I will Live. And find within myself, all that I have looked for on the outside. I am complete. As I ever was, as I ever will be.

I published it again, probably coz right now I feel as though everything I wrote then has since come to life. End of year happiness amplified by melting hershey bars into a one thick chocolate concoction.
Last year, this time, I was in the throes of suicidal despair coz of one unmentionable bastard sort of person. This year, I have transcended all of that. I feel reborn. Atleast I put that verb to better use than his lousy net handle ever will!
Nervous energy spilling forth from every pore in the body. Who knew ‘eh? To spend months spilling blood on the bathroom floor to standing here camera in hand, writing, shooting and recuperating. Time is the most powerful device of all.
Often wondered how this whole painful experience would translate into something meaningful. And it already has. There is a new love. A complete sort. Zest. Energy. There is the shedding of drama and anxiety. Like a serpent’s skin in winter. We are free. At last.
The evening is glorious and resplendent in the dim lights lining the barge. The slight timbre in his voice makes the usual chill ever so desirable as he calls out to me just at the right time.

The conversation begins..

Happy. Utterly, inexplicably and genuinely happy.
We choose this. To not die. To live with more than a slow burning radiance of a stunning life.

Wish me luck!

=)

sweeping the floors, open up the doors
yeah turn on the lights, gettin ready for tonight
nobody’s romantic cuz it’s too early for dancin
but here comes the music

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~ by iconoplastic on December 5, 2007.

7 Responses to “I hate flight food..”

  1. Yup!

    You need to get in touch with your cellular service provider for that mam!

    Take care 🙂

    Ravi (a reader of your blog)

  2. Oi Oi Oi!
    Its cold here too! I wanted to comment but was held up running errands for he-who-shall-not-be-named!
    I loved that piece when you first wrote it and I even contemplated getting it printed and putting it up on the softboard at work.
    It so simple and yet so powerful a piece of work.
    Cliches be damned…I absolutely adore everything you write. It comes from the soul ..completely unhinged and thankfully doesn’t sound like the tootie-fruity nonsense coming from the stable of a teen who’s just been gifted a dictionary and a condensed volume of Victorian lit!
    *wide grin*
    Here’s to you and the guys. May you have a fantastic time drinking from the shoe et al!
    Say hello to Mister Man.Jack Johnson forevah!!!
    😉

    Love
    B

  3. Nihilistwafflesiammadatyou.
    You need to come to Boston. Soon. We do have salsa bars you know.
    Btw Dame here will now gloat for a whole year ‘cuz she beat me to the post by commenting first.
    To that I say – here’s my tongue.
    Ahem. Aside from that,waffley baby please resume mailing. We are starved for good people.
    *points at the roomie*
    See see?
    L&H

  4. Oi Lienda
    Bella che fa?
    Bonita, bonita que tal?
    But belle
    Je ne comprends pas français
    So you’ll have to speak to me
    Some other way

  5. KT Tunstall’s “Hold On” reminds me of you.
    Is that weird?

  6. Retailers put your bid in for the hottest chick spittin
    ..and thats you mami!
    ..this is some of the most awesome writing from you..serious props!

  7. whew.

    echoes the above props

    I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous time with this fine-seeming concoction of radiance and other good things.

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