Getting an Indian Education

Why am I enrolling myself for a Master’s degree is anyone’s guess and if  you manage to figure out a reply to that, please mail it to me.

In the meantime the diagnosis of a rather incredible attempt at getting the forms for the course I intend to enlist myself for. The powers who be(not) at the New Age Auschwitz  wouldn’t allow me a chance to escape and get the forms myself so Mother was dispatched to fulfill the noble duty of assisting me in my pursuit of Higher Education and broadening my horizons. Noble, indeed.

6 hours and many hasty unanswered phone calls later, she comes back mouthing the most profane of any profanities I have ever heard. Despite me, I am tempted to ask why? – err- a rather erroneous thing to do. She proceeds to narrate to me the most horrendous day of her life and mine too.

Step 1: The clerical staff at the Uni decided that since Mother hadn’t carried the original i-card from my last examination she should ideally give up any thoughts of hoping that her first born could savor the delights of a Master’s program and mentioned only too kindly, “madam, i card leke aane ka ..nahi to bhi..kya farak padta hai…aise be —-(my major) subject me padke ke fayada?”. Ingenius. I might agree with the wise man since I have my doubts too about —–(my major).

Step 2: Mother managed to fish out the I-card in time for them to go on a lunch break. In India lunching/eating of any kind is a time-space problem best solved by Hawkings and his cronies so that they can truly configure the actual interpretation of “Lunch Break- 12:00-1:00”. This piece of information on the placard hanging outside the clerk’s desk is highly contradictory since it may not always indicate the absolute value of time mentioned and is usually of a relative nature.

Step 3: Procurement of The Form begins somewhat in a flawed manner. The date has passed by, she was informed. Mother is a social activist highly unimpressed by people’s gallant attempts to extort a bribe by making it sound oh-so-requisite-in-the-current-scheme-of-things. She might have punched the person concerned but since we do the meanest of things for our sons and daughters(and sometimes, to them), she obliged with 2 notes of hundred. She was asked to wait in cafeteria.

Step 4: No Sighting of the Form. Mother mentions she was “pissed off” with the whole waiting and she doesn’t use such words unless, well, she is truly pissed off. The ordeal which started at 10:30 am lasted till 5:00 pm when a peon collected her from the cafeteria and smiled ludicrously while informing her that “Madam, kal aa jao”.

Step 5: Mother informed the clerical staff at the Uni that she passes time by working  for a citizen rights group and knows a lawyer who was one phone call and two blocks away and  who might take special interest in this particular situation.

Steps 6,7: The Form is brought, handed over along with the other important documents.

Forest’s(Gump) mother did make a significant sacrifice for her son’s education and though I can safely say that mine didn’t do anything of the sort, that doesn’t make her efforts any less herculean.

Meanwhile, now do you understand why the illiteracy rates are so high in this country?


~ by iconoplastic on August 29, 2006.

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